I want a love that loves like a verb, that has action to the other side of longing. A love that can take what’s there, see through the layers and love what it sees. A love that is a lifeline to truth.
I want a love that can laugh in the middle of broken pieces. A love that knows I’m sorry, confidence to be wrong, willingness to want. A love that makes things possible instead of making excuses.
I want a love that never stops, like waves through temperature of sky and anger of clouds and shrieking of birds and small human dramas. A love that knows itself. A love that is God made flesh, human and messy.
I name what I want in order to know it. I summon the courage to take my place at the table. Can I belong here? I make eye contact and enjoy every bite. I name it as a request, “Please pass the salt,” and “Thank you, I’d love dessert.”
I name it to give it shape and texture. The blood, guts and bones of desire without shame. I name it to stop hiding my want, precipice of boldness. I name it like a first argument, scary and precarious. I name it to stop the endless loop of lies that live in my body, telling me I can’t.
I name it as an act of faith, believing there is enough light for us all. I name it like a prayer, like humility and vulnerability, religion of the brave. I name it to surrender, fold my arms behind me, heart open to who I am. I name it to make peace with my past, to forgive my mistakes, to end the fight.